tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
Hmm… well my real earliest memory is rather dull. So I’ll make a new one. One time I went on a long walk, when I was but a wee tyke. Upon the trail was a sliced avocado, with the pit tucked neatly in one half. It spoke unto me, saying “feast upon me, child, and you shall gain the wisdom of the world.” Being a brilliant child who knew the credibility of talking food, I sunk my teeth into the fatty fruit, and after doing so, opalescent mushrooms began dancing about me, calling me the Chosen One and poking me with sticks. I woke up in a hospital bed knowing I was destined for greatness.
And that is my 100% real first memory despite what I said before when I found out I was the Chosen One and that all should kneel before me.